By Guest Blogger Ester Nicholson
“Oh My God, I hate my thighs! Is that a hair growing out of my chin? No, it’s three hairs growing out of my chin, and it’s friggin gray!!! Was that wrinkle on my forehead there yesterday? My tummy is sooo FAT! God, I feel like I’m going crazy! Maybe I should get a face-lift… I might still feel nuts, but at least I’d be beautiful – I’d be enough. Maybe if I lose weight, get liposuction and laser treatments for the hairs growing out of my chin, someone will want me – because then I’ll be perfect.”
Sound familiar?!
When did women forget how powerful, lovely, smart, intelligent, resourceful and amazing they are?
When did a wrinkle on the road map of our beautiful faces begin to dictate our worthiness?
When did our hormones start making us believe we were crazy instead of intuitive?
Maybe it doesn’t matter when or how. Perhaps all that really matters is knowing that we have the power to break through the illusions, and come face to face with the truth of who we really are – brilliant, soulfully loving, nurturing, capable and breathtakingly beautiful, in all our unique shapes, colors and sizes.
Stretch marks can be reinterpreted from ugly distasteful scars, to signs of strength, endurance, motherhood, sisterhood, and bad-ass sexy womanhood. It’s all about how we see ourselves, and when we see ourselves as whole, perfect and complete, the world can only reflect that truth back at us. In the book “Little Bee,” there’s an amazing quote about scars, it states:
“… and I ask you right here please to agree with me that a scar is never ugly. That is what the scar makers want us to think. But you and I, we must make an agreement to defy them. We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived.” —Chris Cleave, Little Bee
Yes, we have survived the inner scarring of abandonment, rejection, betrayal, worry, fear, and all types of emotional and physical addictions, because we are ALIVE.
All of the experiences we have walked through have never diminished the essence of who we truly are. I like to use the analogy of mahogany wood. If you create a table, lamp and chair out of mahogany wood, and these pieces of furniture have been bumped around, nicked and bruised, even with the bruising, the essence of these items maintains its integrity as mahogany wood. The same is true of you – beloved bad-ass sexy woman. No matter what you’ve been through, you are still beautiful, vibrant, and deliciously powerful.
It’s time you remember that fact.
And just as we have the ability to harness that power, we also have the ability to diminish it when we turn our focus away from the truth and become distracted by how we think others see us. We get obsessed with being loved instead of being the love we already are, allowing the chatter of our minds to block us from the clarity and focus of the present moment, and our true identity as expressions of God. We heap so many expectations on ourselves – to be great mothers, lovers, wives, daughters, sisters and savvy business women (all while trying to keep our weight down) that we lose sight of who we are – extraordinarily enough.
Here five keys to reclaiming your badass sexy:
- Say quietly or out loud to yourself: “I set aside everything I think I know about myself and everything that’s concerning me right now. I am willing to see myself through the eyes of love.” (This will be uncomfortable at first, but stick with it).
- Start a list in your journal detailing who you were before you became hypnotized by fear and negative thought patterns, e.g., beautiful, smart, humorous, light, clear, balanced, peaceful, loving, lovable, honest, reliable, confident and productive. (Let your imagination soar. Your conditioned thinking will try to talk you out of recognizing anything good about yourself – don’t let it. Be persistent).
- Ask yourself the question – If I wasn’t afraid, and knew that I was supported by a friendly loving Universe, who would I be and what would I do with my life?
- Think of a person from your past or present, that made you feel unconditionally loved, seen and supported. Maybe it was your mom, dad, grandparent, aunt, uncle or teacher. This individual just adored you and was there for you no matter what. If you didn’t have a person like that in your life, is there someone in your life that you feel that way about? If not – just try and imagine unconditional love, acceptance and validation. Now, multiply that love by fifty, and then multiply it by infinity. Relax into that feeling of infinite love – because that’s how much you are loved, wanted and adored by the Universe. In fact, you an expression OF that love.
- Forgive yourself for all mistakes. You did the best you could with what you knew. Take responsibility from a compassionate place, and clean up your side of the street. Release the need to blame others for your pain, and release holding others accountable for your fulfillment. YOU ARE THE POWER!
When you reawaken to who you are, beloved woman, all things are possible… and your badass sexy will then come out to play.
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About
Ester Nicholson, renowned vocalist for Bette Midler and Rod Stewart, former addict, teacher, speaker and author uses her own astonishing story as the core of her powerful book: Soul Recovery – 12 Keys to Healing Addiction and 12 Steps for the Rest of Us-A Path to Wholeness, Serenity and Success (Hay House/Agape Media). For more on Ester, please visit: www.soulrecovery.org
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I have never thought about my badass sexy self in a spiritual and caring way. Today’s post has a spiritual, positive, inspirational feel for bringing sexy back, but I liked it, and wanted you girls to feel all-powerful. Would love your thoughts. xo
Thanks for sharing this. This negative conditioning for women starts so early in life that its difficult to get out of it. The first “mistake” is that we THINK we have to live up to some commercialized idea of what sexy and beautiful is, and then all the negative self talk carries on from there. Personally, changing my focus to loving my capabilities, my talents and staying healthy (not skinny) has made all the difference in how I see myself.
Beautifully said! I’ve been reading lots of different things that have similar themes, but your blog post summed it up in a nice, neat little bite-sized package. I really feel that there is a shift happening and that women are ready to take their badass sexy back. But we need to hear reinforcing messages like this one to keep us on the right path. Bravo and thank you!
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