RELATIONSHIPS

Making New Friends After 50

Making New Friends After 50

I just finished reading the book Rules for Visiting by Jessica Francis Kane.  I discovered it quite fortuitously; I think I was googling ‘loneliness’ as a theme in novels and it popped up.

At first, I was put off thinking it might be a book about visiting someone sick at a hospital… but when I read the synopsis, I was immediately intrigued.  The premise about an unmarried 40-year old woman who mostly keeps to herself and lives in her childhood home with her aging father, who suddenly decides to explore the meaning of “friends” and embarks on a friendship journey – got me to immediately click purchase!

6 Types of Toxic Friends and What To Do About It

6 Types of Toxic Friends and What To Do About It

There are tall ships
There are small ships
But the best ships
Are friendships…

Unless of course, when they’re not.

Yes, this post is about the dark side of friendship, better known as toxic friends, the Global TV segment I did this morning.

Could a Sleep Divorce Help Your Marriage?

Could a Sleep Divorce Help Your Marriage?

A sleep divorce! It’s all the rage!

JUST KIDDING!

But with headlines like these: Getting a Sleep Divorce Is the Best Thing I’ve Ever Done for My Marriage—and My Health and A sleep divorce could save your marriage, I wanted to discuss it on Global TV this week.

So, let’s discuss the ins and outs. And what is a sleep divorce anyhow?

How Technology is Spoiling Your Relationship

How Technology is Spoiling Your Relationship

Happy Valentine’s Day to all! A different kind of post today… maybe one that might be a wakeup call.

I was once in a relationship with a wonderful guy who treated me like an absolute princess. In return, I treated him like he was second to my cell phone.

Charming, right?

Seeing those words on the screen, I doubly realize how incredibly pathetic that sounds. After all, if you have a great guy spoiling you, who wants to spend all of his time with you, why do you still need the lure of a cell phone to keep you entertained?

For some reason, I did.

Modern Love: Marriage Is As Ageless As It Is Timeless

Modern Love: Marriage Is As Ageless As It Is Timeless

I recently married my partner of nearly 20 years, both of us are now in our 50s. As a young girl growing up in India, I dreamed of one day marrying a man of my family’s choosing. But my Indian father and British mother had other ideas—they expected me to make my own way in life and to find my own husband, if that was what I wanted. If things did not work out, as my father would say, “Get a divorce!” While this was a unique perspective for any person in India at that time, he believed in that right, and did assist his own sister in getting one herself. He strongly believed—and instilled in me and my sister—what a man could do, so could a woman.

Off I was sent to America, to make a life of my own and to find a husband of my own, if that was in my destiny. It’s funny how we create pre-conceived notions at what age one can achieve certain milestones, like marriage. As a little girl, I thought marriage was out of the question after a certain age, as it would be unbecoming and disrespectful in the eyes of society. What a myth. As I grow older and wiser, I no longer hold on to my youthful notion of how life should be lived or experienced. It is all about enriching the soul. I know that now, in my 50s.

Achieving Enduring Love and Intimacy

Achieving Enduring Love and Intimacy

By Dr. Laurie Betito

People often ask me what is love, what is intimacy?  You would think the answer was simple, but there are many myths we buy into that actually hurt us.

Many of us think that love in a relationship should be unconditional—but this is not so. The only love that is unconditional is the one you have for your children. When we talk about love in the romantic sense, we are basically trying to embody something that is pure and perfect within two individuals who are neither perfect nor pure themselves.

We often look to love as the answer– the solution to all of our problems. It’s as if because we think love is perfect, we feel that once we have it, everything in our lives becomes perfect. This is the story that we were told growing up. This is the story that we continuously see portrayed in books, movies and TV shows. Our culture feeds us an ideal and urges us to find it for ourselves.

The problem is that such an ideal doesn’t exist.

What Women's Equality Day Means To Me

What Women’s Equality Day Means To Me

My boys have all left for golf. I just finished making the beds. I’m sipping coffee, and instead of going to the gym, or for a walk, I really feel like I have something to say today.

So, sitting surrounded by inspirational sayings in my sweet new office and calm space, here goes.

You may or many not know that today is Womens’ Equality Day. To give you a point of reference, this is it:

Resilience

Resilience

I never set out to be a single mom. I’m not sure that many women do to be honest (despite what the media might like us to believe).

I always wanted to be part of a family, part of a close-knit group of people who looked out for and loved each other. I didn’t experience that growing up; I was abused by my grandfather at the age of 5, my grandmother told me not to tell anyone as I’d be taken away and, when she thought I had told (although I was too frightened to tell a soul), she tried to drown me in the garden pond. That was the start of the sexual harassment and abuse I encountered both inside and outside of my family, over many years.

I grew up being told that no one liked me, loved me, or wanted me. That no one thought I’d achieve anything and that I was stupid and hopeless. Although school was my sanctuary, and I loved it, I didn’t do very well academically due to a series of undiagnosed learning difficulties. I left home the day after I turned 18, got married at 19, had my daughter at 20, my son at 22, and was divorced by 25.

Divorce: A Letter To Someone On The Fence

Divorce: A Letter To Someone On The Fence

I just recently divorced my high school sweetheart. Twenty one years together, and 15 years married, I made the most difficult decision of my life. It wasn’t easy.

We both tried so hard to make it work, but ultimately, it was just too hard. I was the one who asked him for a divorce, because he wouldn’t have otherwise.

‘Divorce’ was never a word either of us would have even fathomed. Breaking up our home, hurting the kids who were my absolute world, putting my Ex through a pain he didn’t deserve… how could I? I endured years of battling my heart and my mind. I tormented my friends and family with my heartache and inability to leave because ‘he’s a good man.’ But the truth is, he was a good man. Just not for me.

My Ex and I divorced because we honestly were horrible for one another. There was also no chemistry. We married for wrong reasons, and stuck it out because of insecurities. Both good people, just not for each other.

The Sneaky Problem with Trying to “Help” or “Change” Your Man

The Sneaky Problem with Trying to “Help” or “Change” Your Man

Ok, he never puts the cap on the toothpaste (even though they’re attached these days!), he plays in a band even though he can’t sing or play a note, and he routinely handles personal hygiene in public.

Yes, he’s got the sweetest blue eyes, and he always treats you like a princess… But.

Every woman has done it at one point or another. You get together with some good girlfriends over wings and margaritas, and as the conversation turns to the current state of everyone’s dating relationships, someone says those three dreaded words…

“He has potential…”