Every June, I make the same promise to myself.
This is going to be the summer.
The summer where I slow down. Read more books. Watch more sunsets. Eat juicy peaches over the kitchen sink. Take evening walks with Hilly. Put my phone away more often. Become the kind of woman who is ready to say YES to adventure at any given moment.
And then…
Somehow it’s August.
The calendar fills itself up. Work doesn’t magically stop because it’s sunny outside. The laundry still needs folding. Emails still come in. Before I know it, I’m ordering beds, desks and dressers for my son’s new house at school while wondering where July disappeared.
Tell me I’m not the only one.
A few summers ago, I was sitting on my back deck on one of those perfect July evenings. You know the kind. The air was finally warm enough after another long Canadian winter. The birds were still singing well past dinner. The sky was beginning to turn that gorgeous golden color photographers call “golden hour.”
I had stepped outside to enjoy it… but instead, I decided to get a head start on Monday’s blog post, and started writing on my computer.
When I finally looked up, the sunset was over.
It wasn’t some dramatic movie moment. There were no violins playing in the background. But I remember thinking something that has stayed with me ever since:
This is the life I’ve been waiting for all winter… and I’m not actually living it.
That moment changed the way I think about summer.
Because I’ve realized something over the years. We don’t usually miss summer because we’re lazy or because we don’t appreciate it.
We miss it because we’re so busy trying to optimize it.
We create bucket lists. We pressure ourselves to make magical family memories. We compare our weekends to everyone else’s Instagram highlight reel. We chase the perfect vacation, the perfect weather, the perfect barbecue, the perfect photo.
Somewhere along the way, we’ve turned the season that’s supposed to feel the freest into another thing to perform. Or master to perfection.
So this year, I’m trying something different.
Instead of asking how I can do more this summer, I’m asking how I can actually experience more of it.
Here are five simple shifts that I’m practicing—and maybe they’ll help you enjoy your summer a little more, too.
1. Stop Trying to Optimize Every Moment
One of the greatest thieves of joy is the pressure to make every moment count.
Ironically, that’s exactly what keeps us from enjoying the moment we’re in.
Research has shown that our happiness depends less on how extraordinary our experiences are and more on how present we are while we’re having them. Presence, not perfection, is what our brains remember.
That means your nervous system doesn’t necessarily know the difference between sipping coffee on a balcony in Italy and sipping coffee on your own front porch… if you’re actually present for it.
What if this summer wasn’t about creating the perfect memories?
What if it was simply about noticing the ones already happening?
The kids laughing in the backyard.
The smell of sunscreen.
The first bite of fresh corn (my fave!)
The sound of the sprinklers coming on.
These aren’t interruptions to life.
They are life.
2. Add More Novelty to Ordinary Days
Our brains love novelty.
In fact, neuroscience tells us that trying something new can boost dopamine, the neurotransmitter associated with motivation, learning, curiosity, and pleasure.
Notice I didn’t say expensive.
I said new.
Take a different walking route.
Try pickleball if you’ve never played. (Fair warning: you may become one of those people who suddenly owns four paddles and talks about “the kitchen.” Ask me how I know.)
Have breakfast outside instead of at the kitchen table.
Watch the sunrise one morning.
Take the scenic drive home.
Sometimes we’re waiting for vacation to wake us up.
But often it’s novelty, not travel, that makes life feel rich.
And while we’re at it, let’s retire one of the longest-running marital conversations of all time:
“What do you want to watch?”
“I don’t know… what do you want to watch?”
Thirty-five minutes later, you’ve watched absolutely nothing except the Netflix menu.
Go outside instead.
3. Let Nature Do Some of the Heavy Lifting
One of the most underrated wellness tools is completely free.
Sunlight.
Morning natural light helps regulate our circadian rhythm, which improves sleep quality, supports mood, balances cortisol, and even boosts daytime energy. Better sleep also means greater emotional well-being, better focus, and more patience- which, if you’re parenting through summer vacation, deserves a standing ovation.
I’ve spent years teaching that self-care doesn’t always mean adding another habit to your already full to-do list.
Sometimes it means creating the conditions for your body to do what it already knows how to do.
Maybe that’s drinking your morning coffee outside instead of scrolling your phone.
Maybe it’s taking your walking meeting outdoors (this is my absolute favorite thing to do in the summer. All my meetings are walking meetings).
Maybe it’s reading one chapter of your book on the deck instead of folding one more load of laundry that, let’s be honest, will still be there in twenty minutes.
Nature has a remarkable way of reminding us that we don’t have to rush everything.
4. Subtract One Thing
When most people think about self-care, they think they need to add something.
A meditation app.
A gratitude journal.
A yoga class.
A supplement.
Another wellness habit.
Sometimes the most powerful act of self-care isn’t adding.
It’s subtracting.
Cancel one obligation.
Leave one evening completely unscheduled.
Don’t answer emails after dinner.
Say no without writing a five-paragraph apology worthy of a university thesis.
Summer invites us to loosen our grip… not on our goals, but on our urgency.
There is a difference.
Everything doesn’t need to happen today.
5. Collect More “Sprinkler Moments”
One of my happiest childhood memories wasn’t a family vacation.
It wasn’t Disney World.
It wasn’t even summer camp.
It was running through the neighborhood sprinklers with all the girls on my street until my fingers looked like raisins while our moms made us ice cream in the driveways to cool off.
Simple.
Completely unforgettable.
Totally a core memory.
As adults, I think we’ve forgotten how much joy lives in ordinary moments.
Melting ice cream.
A spontaneous drive with the windows down.
A conversation that lasts longer than planned.
Watching fireflies on a patio.
Staying outside because no one wants the evening to end.
These moments don’t ask us to accomplish anything.
They simply ask us to be there.
And maybe that’s the real secret to enjoying summer more.
Not squeezing every drop out of it.
But allowing it to slowly soak into us.
So this week, instead of asking yourself how to make this the best summer ever, maybe ask yourself a gentler question:
How can I be more present for the summer that’s already happening?
Because one day, we’ll all look back on these ordinary July mornings, warm August nights, your kids’ sticky popsicle fingers, backyard dinners, beach walks, and golden sunsets, and realize they weren’t ordinary at all.
They were the good ‘ol days.
Let’s not miss them while we’re busy planning them.
