When it comes right down to it though, it’s an issue of priorities. Am I a mom first or am I something else first? And if I’m a mom first, does that not inherently make the decision for me? Is it selfish to want to work full time? Is it selfish to want to feel like a mom less of the time? Omigod, am i selfish? Does that mean my kids like daycare better than they like me? Hmmm? (That’s not a rhetorical question, guys.)
Back in September of 2009, one of my earliest Blog posts discussed the question that comes my way every day around 4:30PM (from the little people living in this house) and it’s always sure to get me all riled up… the burning question…. “What’s for dinner?” And while I have been trying my hand at some new recipes lately, I am still at a loss, probably like most of you, for great dinner suggestions on any given day.
Our married life was great for some time. But then it began to unravel. At first, I ignored all the signs. The dissolution of my marriage began with my inner demons. The rapid decline of my mental health became a reality we could no longer ignore. There we were, two isolated people. Me in my world, and my husband in his. My husband took a bottle of booze with him for some extra comfort.
When I awoke Sunday morning, the plan was to go over my speech for The National Woman’s Show. The hockey tournament continued into Sunday morning, with the final game at 10:30am. Surely I had been to both games on Saturday, and all his grandparents, his dad and brother were going to be there on Sunday to cheer him on. I hadn’t yet perfected my speech, and I had already been to the bathroom three times from nerves. I HAD to go over it and rehearse it. But when I said to him, “Mommy is not going to be able to make it to your game this morning,” I saw the disappointment in his eyes. I saw the sadness on his face. And then, the dagger of guilt through my heart! I knew he needed me there. And so, here was the defining moment of all my years as mom, where I truly realized that family comes first. It was where the word PRIORITIES and everything I speak of in my book and speeches came true to life. So, I chose my kid. Whether it was wrong or right to show up 5% less prepared, but having not missed out on his gold metal, is debatable. And I sat on the fence with this decision.
With the whole Tiger Woods Saga. The rise of the chosen one, the fall of the chosen one, and now, the possible re-rise. And then, yesterday, the commercial. For those of you who haven’t yet seen Tiger Woods’ new Nike commercial, check it out here, so you can participate in the chat! As Tiger prepares for his return to professional golf this weekend at The Masters, one of his remaining sponsors, Nike, has created this new commercial using the voice of his late father, Earl Woods, giving him a kind of slap on his behind for his bad behavior.
In case you missed Erica on the Kim Fraser show talking about balancing a career, family and marriage, her Blog, book and The National Women’s Show, here it is.
Last month, I celebrated my daughter’s birthday. For the years that I have been divorced, it has been understood that this special day with our eldest child is to be shared…..as it’s always been. From our birthday lunch, to special moments shared together, this day is placed on a pedestal to recognize its importance. On this day, I had been eagerly anticipating her arrival as it had been a week since I had had my children. In fact, I stayed up till exactly midnight to ensure her e-mail birthday wishes would arrive exactly on time, in spirit and style, despite us not being physically together. When I didn’t hear back from her the next morning, I had that feeling, which brought a great deal of sadness in my heart. What had I done in my life and marriage that things had spiraled down to this– that I hadn’t even heard from daughter on her birthday? I thought of the injustice of the whole thing and simply shook my head in amazement at how empty it feels to live a divorced life, missing these once in a lifetime moments. It was a profound moment for me.
Wordless Wednesday. Happy 35th! Just celebrated with my great friend, whose birthday is also today!! I brought 3 kids home in carpool after this champagne. Please don’t report me!
And as I lay in bed tonight, I can’t help but think how life changes when you have kids. Before I had kids 6 years ago, I had never stepped foot in a Wal-Mart. EVER.IN.MY.LIFE. I had never stepped foot into a Chuck E Cheese (I had heard of it, but thought it was a cheese shop… for real), or even a Toys R Us for that matter. I’m an only child with no nieces or nephews, so baby gifts consisted of Burberry sleepers and snowsuits from the fancy children’s clothing store. It was all I knew. And then at 28 years old, my life forever changed, as all of our lives do after we push out the basketball growing inside us for 9 months. And I think priorities start to shift. We don’t lose ourselves, (at least we hope we don’t), but things start to take on a different meaning.
warren buffett
I help busy women (like you!) prioritize self-care so you can experience less stress, more calm and greater joy every day!
