When my daughter was a year old, I experienced a sleep epiphany. After months of horrific night waking, she finally started clocking twelve solid hours each night. Meanwhile, I continued waking in the wee hours and fighting daytime fatigue at my full-time job. The delicious prize I’d looked forward to savoring—sweet, uninterrupted sleep—was still elusive.
When I look at how I manage the everyday juggle and grind, there is one thing that keeps me most grounded through it all. There is one thing, that no matter how stressed I am, or how frazzled I may be, that literally transforms my entire aura.
That’s yoga.
So I woke up 5:30am Sunday morning, stomach in knots, and pretty anxiety-ridden. This upcoming…
I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed (although I do pride on myself on being somewhat sharp), I can still recognize a sign when it’s flashed my way. And this week, the signs were all around.
This past week, I felt my anxiety level mounting, and I felt myself beginning to vent it onto my children. Shame on me, I hear you. But this is my safe place, so no judgement please. Nothing new had happened, nothing out of the ordinary, just my patience level was wearing thin this week, and instead of enjoying my boys, they were starting to, **GASP** annoy me. The bickering and whining was taking its toll. For those that know me, they know my children are my life. They take first priority. Before sex. Yes.
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling… it seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Four years ago, if someone would have told me that I would become addicted to narcotics, I would have laughed at them.
My story is a story of joy, despair, hope and healing…
When I was 18 years old, I would hop into a sleek black private car around 11 pm every night. I’d wave my cigarette magically in the air and ask to be taken to the Soho Grande. The driver would speed off into the dark, bustling night of New York City. Slumped down in the grey leather seat, I’d peer out over the side of the door, so just my eyes were visible through the window. Bright flashing lights everywhere, blurring the images of the young college student’s advertising of the normal after-hours college scene that I wasn’t a part of. The horn would honk, the brakes would slam and I would try not to puke as we swerved in and out of traffic. Another drag of the cigarette, ashes spilling on my bare leg. My cell phone would flash: 10:58 pm. The car would come to a screeching halt and out I’d step. One foot in front of the other. I’d make my way to room 603 and knock. Hike up my skirt, poof up my hair, pucker my lips– “Hi, I’m Michelle.”
I’m going with the rhythm of the people. You asked. I answered. Summer’s around the corner. Bathing suit season is almost upon us. The weather is improving. Comfort food is out. Healthy food is in.
But the truth is, now is usually the time we try and bust a move. Our snug jeans from the winter months of delicious pastas and warm cream soups, cannot be hidden anymore under a long or bulky sweater. The air is lighter. The sun is brighter. And it’s right about now, that we try to get re-motivated for the summer.
I gotta be honest. And don’t hate me. But I was born skinny. I can give you a list of flaws and faults that I’ve got from here to to China– bad skin, honker nose, only-child syndrome, and the list goes on and on. But I haven’t struggled with my weight for a day in my life. I put on 40 pounds with both pregnancies. It took me a year to take the weight off, but I did, both times, with little effort. I returned to my ever-steady, 5’8″ frame, 117 pounds. And the kicker? I eat like a horse.
Someone forwarded this to me today. I have to say, it took my breath a way. I am keeping Elisa & Nathan in my prayers. Perhaps you could too.
I help busy women (like you!) prioritize self-care so you can experience less stress, more calm and greater joy every day!
