Calling out all mothers!! Although, I have to say, even if you’re not a mom yet nor even thinking about it (wow, you’re smart… just joking!!), this has gotta sound entertaining.
As mothers, we wear many hats depending on the day, the situation, or simply, our moods. Parent, friend, disciplinarian, good cop, bad cop, nice mom, mean mom, and the list goes on. Depending on the age of your children, you may be going through any number of issues during any given time.
I have two boys, age six and almost three. I have to simply laugh when I think about myself as a parent. In the marriage, I would say I am more the disciplinarian. So, on a school night, when I’m trying to put my grade one boy to bed, and it’s 8PM, and he’s still playing Wii, WITH MY HUSBAND, I start to get riled up, to the say the least. Isn’t my husband supposed to be on my side? Aren’t we as a team, supposed to say, “Now, ‘Johnny,’ it’s bedtime. Shut that thing off ASAP.” I hear my pitch raising, my voice cracking, I’m starting to lose it! In fact, Wii during the week was never even supposed to be an option!! It’s my husband who’s hooked, and needs a playing partner!!
But really, as parents, we are constantly policing; “Say please. Say thank you. Please look at someone when they are talking to you.” Or in my house, “We’re eating dinner, we don’t STAND ON the table, we sit AT the table!” We are trying to make on-the-spot decisions. Trying to keep our cools. Often losing our patience. Trying to choose the right school, the right camp, the right friends for our kids, the best extra-curricular activities, and the list is endless. Sound exhausting? Welcome to your life, my friends!!!
I have to say, as someone who is NEVER in the know, I have found myself caught up in all this insanity. “You mean you didn’t sign up yet for the gym program? Sign up was last week for eighteen month olds!” I panic. My son played t-ball this summer. I kid you not…. I lined up at 11am waiting for registration to only BEGIN at 6PM. The line was out the door and around the corner. Me, and hundreds of other idiots sitting on the floor laughing, taking turns going to the bathroom, or bringing snacks for each other!
Or I remember another time a girlfriend of mine made me act as a spy to find out if so-and-so’s party was this weekend or next month, because if it was this weekend, then her son wasn’t invited… and if he wasn’t invited, it was just him and two other boys in the whole grade that were left out… and if that was the case, what kind of horrible parent would do this…. and if that is the case, her son is NEVER EVER PLAYING WITH THIS KID AGAIN!!!! OMG!!!!!
Or another great one, at my son’s school, you are allowed to request five friends to be in your child’s class and you are guaranteed at least one child from your list. When you pay tuition, only then are you given your child’s classroom: A, B, C, or D. Well this year, it was done a little differently; the night before school started, the class list was sent out via EMAIL to all parents. At 5PM I think the email came in, at 5:03PM my blackberry started buzzing to the point of heart attack level. Who was in his class, was he in the same class as the bully, how many friends from my list did he get, who were his teachers? I love it, someone asked me, “Did you get the teachers you wanted?” I had absolutely no idea who were the “good teachers” or “bad teachers.” As always, I’m never in the know. Who can stay on top of so many things in one’s life? I certainly can’t!
So sweethearts, we gotta take life in stride. We can’t sweat ALL the small stuff. We can do our best, and if your child misses figure skating this semester, you’ll get ’em next semester. You can’t always be there to protect them from the class bully. All you can do is give them the skills to defend themselves in this world and pray they will make the right choices.
Please ladies, any cute and entertaining stories how your life is run by your children?? We’re dying to know!
A little quote:
If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, “keep away from children.”
Also, in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I would like to announce the organization of one of our loyal readers, Babes for Breasts. The concept behind the charity is female musicians touring cross-country in honor of a cure for breast cancer. Please go to www.babesforbreasts.com to get more info and show schedules near you.
Happy Columbus Day Americans! Happy Thanksgiving Canadians!