I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed (although I do pride on myself on being pretty sharp), I can still recognize a sign when it’s flashed my way. And this week, the signs were all around.

This past week, I felt my anxiety level mounting, and I felt myself beginning to vent it onto my children. Shame on me, I hear you. But this is my safe place, so no judgement please. Nothing new had happened, nothing out of the ordinary, just my patience level was wearing thin this week, and instead of enjoying my boys as usual, they were starting to, **GASP** annoy me. The bickering and whining had taken its toll. I knew I had to do something to cage the Elvira, and fast. My children are my life. They take first priority. Over sex. Yes.

My first AHA moment that I needed to slow down, was when I read fellow blogger, Brooke Burke’s Blog. It was titled, “Brooke Gets Bad Mommy Award.” And although there wasn’t a bad exchange of words with my kids in my case, reading Brooke’s words became the first realization that I had to stop myself, and calm the hell down. Change my attitude. Or I was going to screw up a very good thing.

Thank you Brooke for so candidly sharing your story. It affected me deeply. Here is an excerpt.

“I have been thinking for days about the mean words she (my daughter) shot at me  and how I reacted. I could have stood there, fought back my tears and taken them, or better yet walked away. But what I did wrong was lash out back at her, which left us wounded, sad and deflated. I know we have all been there. But I wish in the heat of the moment I would have reacted differently, more maturely and less humanly!

A friend shared this story with me today that doesn’t make me feel any better, but has some heavy truth to it and it will make me think twice next time I forget my role…

There once was man who said nasty things to many others in his village. One day he sadly realized that no one liked him. He went to his chief to ask what he could do to make things right and make people like him again.

The chief said, “Tonight, put a feather in front of everyone’s door that you have said hurtful things to.” So he did just that. The next morning he went back to the chief and asked, “What now?” The chief replied, “Now go and pick all of the feathers up.”
Unfortunately all the feathers had blown away….

Words are like feathers that you cannot pick up or take back.” ~Brooke Burke, ModernMom.com

That is when I changed my tone with the kids. I got on the floor and played with them again. I tried to catch myself before uttering in an aggressive tone, “Hurry up, let’s go, c’mon!”

The next clue that I needed to slow down, was a random email sent from my mother. It was titled SLOW DANCE.

“Have you ever watched kids
on a merry-go-round
Or listened to the rain
slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down
Don’t dance so fast
Time is short
The music won’t last

Do you run through each day
on the fly
When you ask “How are you?”
do you hear the reply?

When the day is done,
do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
running through your head?

You’d better slow down
Don’t dance so fast
Time is short
The music won’t last

Ever told your child,
We’ll do it tomorrow
And in your haste,
not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
‘Cause you never had time
to call and say “Hi”?

You’d better slow down
Don’t dance so fast
Time is short
The music won’t last

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift….
Thrown away…

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.”

And if that wasn’t enough, my son’s Father’s Day gift to his incredible dad, read this.

Today is St. Jean Baptiste, a national holiday in Quebec. It’s the only day of the year whereby every business in the province must legally close their doors and take a break. I know it’s my sign to do the same.

All the emails, blogs and letters have been the slap on the wrist I needed this week. I have found the joy again in my children who had frustrated me the past few days, and I found my missing patience. I’m spending the day with my family, regrouping and relaxing. My hard-going pace has been a little over-the-top.

So if you’ve been short tempered, or displaced frustration onto people who haven’t deserved it, this is your slap on the wrist too. Slow down. Don’t miss the music.

Happy weekend, lovely readers.

Tell us, have you ever just LOST IT in mommyhood, and what did you do to grab the reigns back and recenter yourself?

xoxEDxox