Tiger Woods and His Woodies

It’s everywhere. It’s all over the news. It was on Larry King last night. And I’m on the bandwagon with the rest of the world. I’m fascinated. I can’t turn away.

My love for Tiger Woods started many years ago. I’ve been a golfer for 15 years. Yes, it’s pathetic that after all these years, I can’t call myself a great golfer. But I switched to become a right handed golfer five years ago, and that was the onset of my demise. I love Tiger for his discipline, for his control, for his focus. He’s incredible to watch. He’s intense, regimented, competitive. To watch Tiger Woods play golf live is a true thrill. My husband and I flew to England to see the Ryder Cup a few years ago. He oozes appeal, he’s like a magnet. Seriously.

So here he is… PERFECT in every way. He– the ultimate athlete. Best golfer in the world, and probably the best that ever lived. Gazillionaire. His wife– gorgeous, sweet, soft spoken, quietly standing by her man at every tournament. Two beautiful kids.  Completely out of the tabloids and limelight. Never seen at clubs. Never seen drunk.  ALWAYS in control. Always private but courteous (except when he’s throwing himself or a club on the golf course, but hey, he’s the most competitive athlete in the world)! An image that’s as squeaky clean as Mr. Clean himself.

And then this bombshell! What do they say, PERFECTION IS AN ILLUSION?

I was hoping it wasn’t true, I really was. I love this guy. He can’t be THAT kind of guy. He can’t be faulted. He was perfection in my eyes. Who even thought he actually had sex? He’s a machine, not a man. I quote my husband, ” Man, his dad Earl Woods must be rolling in his grave. He thought he raised a machine, only to discover he’s really just a human being after all!”

And now the women are really coming out of the woodwork. A third one this morning.  Sorry, but this cocktail waitress, Jaimee Grubs is U-G-L-Y. I mean, she PALES in comparison to Tiger’s wife Elin Nordegren. He supposedly had a thirty-one month affair with this woman. She is the recipient of his famous voicemail that busted him, “Hey, it’s Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye.” Oy!

Now here is where I ask you not to come after ME with a golf club. My girlfriend said, “Justice comes in all forms.” She’s right, but why am I not feeling  those feelings? I’m trying to feel all revved up and pissed. I’m trying to hate him for doing this, but those feelings just aren’t coming. I almost pity him. Why? Can anyone help me out? Maybe I bought into his good boy image all these years and deep down, I still feel he is still a good guy instead of a dog. I’m not clear on my feelings. But I do however, feel terrible for Elin and their children. What a mess.

And who would cheat on a woman who looks like this anyhow?

Unfortunately, even beautiful women like these get cheated on. The truth is, novelty wears off in any marriage. And after a while, this is still just same face you go to bed with, and wake up with every morning. So, when you feel invincible and untouchable like Tiger Woods, even this face can’t keep you from straying. It’s sad.

Can I also ask which female would hire this woman as a nanny in their home, to be in the same proximity or quarters as their husband? The wife would have to be a lesbian, or on crack!!! Jasper Parnevik, you have one COOL wife!

And finally, I couldn’t resist!

Ladies please, what are your feelings on this whole Tiger thing? Is he more sorry about getting caught than cheating on his wife?

xoxEDxox