Month: September 2016

This is my brother, Dan’s story. Please read. Please share. Let’s keep the conversation regarding suicide and mental illness going, or at least, let’s try to get it started. Thank you.

#missyoudan

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On July 24th, 2015, I lost my little brother, Dan – my only brother, and also, my best friend – to suicide (by way of depression). Given that more than a year has passed, and that September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, the time now feels right for me to share his story.

Dan and I grew up in a very loving, nurturing, and supportive family. I never thought that suicide could ever happen in my family, but then again, who does??? But I have learned that suicide knows no boundaries, and if it can happen in my family, right under my nose, and unbeknownst to me, then surely, it could happen in any family.

My name is Dan and I am an addict.

When asked, I am happy to share about what happened years ago and what life is like now. My mom brought me to Montreal shortly after being born in Sao Paulo, Brazil. For all of my Freudian therapy over the decades, the only “traumas” I have been able to identify in my childhood are related to divorce and a genuine sense of abandonment by my biological father. Besides this, I had a privileged childhood and life. I did the JPPS/Bialik/Marianopolis/McGill circuit (all private schools in my city), and even finished first in my B Com class. I went on to start a career on Wall Street (which I guess can help mess anyone up!), had a lovely girlfriend (to be wife), and the sky was the limit for me.

My introduction to drugs came quite early, but the abuse really started in New York City with cocaine and quaaludes. For many years, everything was manageable. But suddenly, it no longer was.

Yoga is powerful.

Yoga saved my life.

I was born in Montreal, Canada. My mother raised my older brother and I. My father was not present in my life. I felt intense emotional pain and stress from a very young age. As a single-parent family, we struggled financially. My mother worked very hard and loved me very much, I therefore did everything I could to hide my inner pain from her and everyone around me.

As a child I was outgoing, charming and did very well in school. As a teenager, I secretly began using drugs and acting out any way that I could. I was hurting so deeply inside and I didn’t know how to ask for help, so as a result, I made sure to make it appear like everything in my life was great.