Flattery Gets You Everywhere

When was the last time you took the time to call your best friend, your aunt, your employee, your husband and tell them how much you appreciate them? No I don’t mean a slipped in “I love you” at the end of a call after phoning them for something else. I mean JUST to tell them how important they are in your life, to thank them, and tell them how great you think they are? I bet most of you cannot remember the last time. Yuck. Well that’s no good!

Flattery Gets You Everywhere

I’m gonna ask you another question. How come women are generally terrible at receiving compliments and words of flattery? Why do we have such a hard time accepting being told that we’re loved and appreciated? We give and give, and still, when we’re complimented, we squirm, don’t know what to do with our bodies or what to answer.

Well guess what? Someone wanted me to see just what it feels like to be praised, flattered and appreciated. For my Montreal readers, you all know the Kim Fraser Show on CJAD from noon -2PM daily. I have been on her show in the past, and for whatever reason, she seems to like me. 🙂 Well Kim had a guest on her show this past Friday, whose company is called Flatter Me. They  charge $5.00 a call, and flatter people around the world and make them feel loved and appreciated on behalf of someone else. How cool right? Well Kim Fraser wanted to do this gesture to me and see how I’d react.

All she told me was to be available on my cell phone between 1:15- 1:30Pm, and the rules were NO LISTENING TO THE SHOW BEFORE THE CALL. I was like, OK! So, my mom relieved me at the movies where I was watching Tangled in 3D with my 2 boys and their friend and waited in the corridor at 1:15 for Kim’s call.

All of a sudden… this happened, and I didn’t know what to do…


But really, besides most women not taking flattery and praise very well, I find that most people don’t give it enough either. I’m not sure if it’s a jealousy thing, but compliments and flattery with most are generally not free-flowing. I’m not tooting my own horn here, but I have always been big on giving compliments. It’s just who I am. I appreciate nice things and I’m not afraid to say it. When I spot a gorgeous girl, I tell her to her face. When I go to someone’s house, I tell them how beautiful it is. I just am an advocate of women, and I want to make them feel appreciated. This has always been my way. Not sure why. But most people find it odd.

In fact, when I was in L.A. waiting to meet a big agent, in walked literally, the most beautiful girl I had EVER seen in my life in person. She walked in with her mom. I recognized her, but didn’t know her name until she announced herself to the receptionist. She sat down, smiled at me, and I said to her, “Wow, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. You’re simply stunning.” She looked at me like I was crazy! But then paused and said, “Wow, that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. People don’t say these things to each other in this town.” She squirmed and looked uncomfortable, but then started chatting because she obviously realized I was genuine. Turned out she was recording artist and actress Christina Milian, but she just seemed so shocked at the flattery. Something is wrong with that. Either we don’t give it enough, or we have to learn more how to take a compliment without shying away.

Flattery Gets You Everywhere
Christina Milian

It happened again when I was at Dancing With The Stars. I sat next to the ridiculously beautiful Victoria’s Secret model Rebecca Romjin. We started chatting about motherhood, juggling a career and family, loving our kids, both being done after two children, and again, there I go, “Wow, you are absolutely beautiful.” Again, she put her head down and said a quiet, “Thank you. I think you’re beautiful.” Well whatever!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m the ogre here! But again, why is it so uncomfortable to give compliments or receive them, and accept flattery? We women do so much, often without expecting much in return. So, I think the rules need to change.

Flattery Gets You Everywhere
Rebecca Romjin and Husband Jerry O'Connell
Flattery Gets You Everywhere
Rebecca Romjin

So whether you’re not one to give compliments because it makes you uncomfortable, DO IT. Whether you don’t give flattery because you’re jealous of what someone else has, be happy for their success, and DO IT. Whether you think someone will look at you funny if you praise them to their face, I promise you they’ll love it, so DO IT. You may make someone’s day. I challenge you to 1 compliment per day, every day this week. JUST DO IT. To the barista at the coffee shop, the waitress at the local diner, the exhausted working mom in your daughter’s class, the overworked nurse at the hospital, the man pumping your gas.

And if it feels uncomfortable, or weird, it won’t once you get the hang of it. Before you say no, I would like to close today with one of my favorite quotes.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” ~~ Plato


Share with our community, why do you think women have such a hard time accepting or even giving praise? Can YOU take a compliment?

  1. This post was spot on. I think it’s a jealousy thing and that’s why women don’t often compliment one another. Think about it. We compliment old women (grandmas) for example in their 80’s because they pose no threat to us. I’m with you Erica. It’s all about making women feel empowered and good about themselves and the job they’re doing. Nice post. I will take the challenge.

  2. It’s a common topic to discuss how women have a hard time accepting a compliment or praise but I haven’t read much about them not giving compliments. Good topic. I guess I don’t give compliments very often because I think it sounds strange but I will give it a try.

  3. I think we often have such a hard time taking compliments because we are so hard on ourselves. Whether we are aware of it or not, there is so much pressure from society to be perfect. So when a compliment does come our way, we don’t know how to react. Give a compliment a day! I love it Erica!

  4. Amen, sister friend. I know plenty of women who love to give compliments but have a TERRIBLE time accepting them. I think it dates back to when we were young girls and the most heinous social offense a girl could commit was to be “conceited.” Do not pass go, do not collect $200, just take your stuck-up self straight to Pariah Town and stay there until someone comes to shave your head. I think if we say “thank you” to a compliment, we feel like we’re tooting our own horn…and well, that just wouldn’t do.

    And it’s true, you did sound great on that phone call.

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