Well, NO-vember is here!

Imagine this: you get a call to teach a weekly course—four hours a week—on entrepreneurship. The pay? None. The time commitment? Significant. Your first instinct might be, “Of course I’ll do it!” Many of us feel that pull to say yes—especially when it’s something meaningful or when people are counting on us.

But sometimes, the most generous thing you can do is pause. And I did. It’s okay to respond with, “Thank you so much for thinking of me. My plate is currently full, so not right now—but I truly appreciate you reaching out.” And so, that was my response.

Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of giving back in many ways: mentoring aspiring entrepreneurs, serving on my sons’ school board, supporting cancer causes, helping women in business, teaching yoga at women’s shelters. I love it all—it’s rewarding, fulfilling, and often life-changing for those I get to support. But I’ve also learned that even the most passionate giver has limits. When we stretch ourselves too thin, we risk turning into a human pretzel—overwhelmed, tense, and ready to snap.

Here’s the universal truth: when we say yes too much, cracks appear. We get irritable, exhausted, and even small things can set us off. Every one of us has a breaking point. That last “yes” can be the one that finally tips the balance.

That’s why practicing the phrase “Not right now” can be transformative. It’s not rejection—it’s self-respect. It allows you to keep your plate clear for what truly matters and what truly lights you up. Saying no today doesn’t mean you’ll never consider it; it just means you’re honoring your energy and priorities in this moment.

This is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. At first, it feels uncomfortable. Our egos are attached to “yes,” and we worry about disappointing others. But every time you say no thoughtfully, you’re actually saying yes—to yourself, to your well-being, and to the things that bring you joy: reading a book, taking a walk, painting, dancing, or simply resting.

For anyone balancing work, family, friendships, and countless obligations, learning to say no is essential. It’s not about shirking responsibility; it’s about protecting your energy so you can show up fully in the areas that matter most. Start small if you need to—decline a favor, postpone a meeting, set boundaries around your volunteering. Over time, it grows into a powerful tool: a way to say yes to life on your terms.

This NO-vember, see if you can practice saying no—to requests, favors, obligations, and even tempting opportunities that just aren’t right for you right now. Every “no” is a choice to protect your peace, your joy, and your energy.

HOW TO SAY NO

If you feel you’re becoming the human pretzel, a few tips (now I would like to reiterate, I am not saying you should be selfish and never help people out. However, it’s just that many of us are running around on empty because we’re saying yes to everyone and everything).

  • Think back to a time when you were turned down or rejected yourself. We have all been turned down in our lives. Johnny couldn’t come to your son’s birthday party, you were denied a favor, someone didn’t reciprocate your crush, it’s a part of life. So, did you die from it? Of course you survived it! Don’t assume you’re going to inflict serious harm by saying no to someone. What’s your human pretzel threshold? Are you there yet?
  • Learn to accept no from those you love as well. “No’s” are a part of everyone’s life. Take it all in stride. If you do, you’ll be more easily able to say no to others, which means YES to yourself.
  • Don’t instinctively say yes. Think it out first. It’s okay to not answer on the spot. How about something like, “Can I think it over and get back to you?” If anything, you sound professional, and if it really ends up being no, the “no” will sound like a more well thought-out no. And may I also note, you don’t have to be rude when you say no either. You should say it politely, thank you very much!
  • Saying no truly does come with confidence and self-esteem. The more confident you are in your abilities, the easier time you will have saying no to people. Sorry my friend, it’s just the truth.
  • Practice the 24-hour rule. To start easily making decisions you feel good about, learn to give yourself some breathing room. Don’t feel like you have to make a decision right away. Obviously, there are some instances where we have to be quick on our toes and make fast decisions. But most of the time we can give ourselves at least 24 hours to make a decision. And often when we walk away from it for a day, the answer becomes clearer. When we surrender to the universe, it often shows up for us when we aren’t so fired up and IN IT.
  • And finally, if you do say yes, and then you feel resentment or are complaining about it after the fact, it means you SHOULD HAVE SAID NO! So, say NO, and let it be a complete sentence

So, learn how to say no guilt free… except in sex… I say “go for it!”

Happy NO-vember.

What can you say NO to? I’d love to know below. What can you shed this month to make more room for what lights you up?