Whenever my kids misbehaved growing up, instead of putting them in time-out or yelling, (which believe me, was often my first instinct if I was really upset with them), instead, I would opt to sit on the floor with them in the moment, hold them and kiss them after they had just done something wrong, and say to them, “Tell mommy what is bothering you sooo much right now that would make you want to hit your brother instead of asking him what you need right now with your words?” I always found that love and compassion would get to the solution quicker than shaming or criticism over what they had just done.
I believe this is true for our kids, and I believe this to be true for ourselves.
Shaming ourselves into change is never the answer. I get it – for some, this negative self-talk might come too easily – especially if you have grown up with an overly-critical parent.
But remember, we are more than our stories.
Spring is a time of rebirth – can we birth a new cycle of less self-judgment and more self-compassion?
Instead of shaming ourselves into change, can we love ourselves into evolution? Can we choose KINDNESS OVER CRITICISM?
When we can practice self-love, this in turn helps us evolve and grow as individuals. Why? Because when we love ourselves, we are more likely to take risks, try new things, and challenge ourselves to be better.
So, how can we love ourselves into evolution, you might ask?
Here are 3 ways:
- Practice Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is the act of treating ourselves with kindness and understanding when we fail or make mistakes. It means acknowledging our imperfections and flaws without judgment. Practicing self-compassion can help us evolve because it allows us to take risks and try new things without fear of failure.
When we are self-compassionate, we are more likely to take responsibility for our actions and learn from our mistakes. We also become more resilient and better equipped to handle challenges and setbacks. So, the next time you make a mistake, instead of beating yourself up, try showing yourself some kindness and understanding.
- Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries is an act of self-love. It means saying no to things that don’t serve us or make us happy. When we set boundaries, we are telling ourselves that our well-being is important and that we deserve to be treated with respect.
Setting boundaries can also help us evolve because it allows us to focus on the things that truly matter to us. When we say no to things that don’t align with our values or goals, we make room for the things that do. So, the next time you are faced with a decision, ask yourself if it aligns with your values and goals. If it doesn’t, consider setting a boundary and saying no.
- Embrace Your Authentic Self
Embracing your authentic self means being true to who you are and what you believe in. It means accepting yourself as you are and not trying to be someone else. When we embrace our authentic selves, we are more likely to pursue the things that truly make us happy and fulfilled.
Embracing our authentic selves can also help us evolve because it allows us to tap into our unique talents and abilities. When we are true to ourselves, we are more likely to find our purpose and in turn make a meaningful impact in the world. So, the next time you are tempted to conform to the expectations of others, remember that your authenticity is your greatest asset.
Drop a comment if this speaks to you.