When I give a keynote, the third step of my Thrive360™ System is Time—and yes, I could talk about time blocking. Procrastination. Brain dumping. Delegation. Automation. Outsourcing. All the hacks, the tools, the systems — all the things we know.
And don’t get me wrong… those things help. They’re useful. They’re smart.
But today, I want to talk about time in a different way.
Not the tactical way.
The truth way.
Because here’s what most of us were never taught:
You don’t get time. You have to take it.
Time doesn’t show up neatly wrapped. It doesn’t pause when you’re tired. It doesn’t ask if you’re okay. Time is claimed – by the people who believe they are worth it.
And that’s where this gets… uncomfortable (and powerful).
Because most women don’t actually have a time problem. They have a self-worth problem hiding inside their calendar. Mic drop: YOUR CALENDAR IS A REFLECTION OF YOUR SELF-WORTH.
So let me ask you something — and I want you to feel it, not answer it out loud:
Why don’t you believe you’re worthy enough to give yourself time?
Not time after everyone else is done.
Not time if nothing goes wrong.
Not time when you’ve earned it.
Time. Because you are alive. Because you matter. Because this is your one, beautiful, fragile life.
A quick story (that might feel familiar)
Years ago, I was in a season where my days were stacked like Jenga blocks. One more “quick thing,” one more “can you just…,” one more email, one more obligation — and the whole tower would wobble.
I told myself I was being responsible. Dependable. Capable. The woman who can handle it.
But if I’m honest? I had quietly trained my life to run on one rule: everyone else gets my best hours. I get what’s left.
And the “left” was never enough.
That’s the moment I realized something that changed everything: my calendar wasn’t just showing my schedule.
It was showing my self-belief.
The science of why “there’s no time” feels so real
When we feel like time is scarce, our brains narrow their focus. Scarcity creates a kind of tunnel vision- we become more reactive, more short-term, and more likely to default to whatever is urgent right in front of us. That “always behind” feeling isn’t just a personality flaw. It’s a known psychological effect of scarcity.
And in a world that rewards urgency, this is how we end up living in reaction: putting out fires, running from one thing to the next, answering what’s loud instead of what’s meaningful.
So no — you’re not broken.
You’re in a system that trains you to negotiate yourself out of your own life.
The shift that gives you your life back: Non-Negotiables
This is where everything changes.
Because there is one tool that gives you your life back.
It’s called a non-negotiable.
Non-negotiables are the things you will not bargain away — even when life gets busy, loud, or demanding. They are not “nice to have.” They are not “maybe if I have time.”
They are a declaration of self-worth.
They say:
“This is who I am — even when the world wants more from me.”
And here’s the part that’s backed by research in a way I love: recovery isn’t a luxury; it’s a performance strategy. Studies on psychological detachment (mentally “switching off” from work) consistently link it to better well-being and less strain. Meaning your off-time isn’t optional if you want to function well.
Your non-negotiables create that detachment. They create breathing room. They remind your nervous system: we’re not in survival mode today.
Even self-compassion – the practice of treating yourself with the same care you’d give someone you love, is associated with lower stress and burnout, and higher well-being. That matters, because taking time often triggers guilt… unless you believe you deserve it.
So the real question isn’t “How do I manage my time better?”
The real question is:
What will I not negotiate on anymore?
What will I no longer sacrifice — not for a deadline, not for pressure, not for expectations — because my life is worth more than constant depletion?
To find your non-negotiables, ask yourself:
- What makes me feel grounded?
- What makes me feel calm?
- What makes me feel like me again?
Those are your clues.
Because when you don’t protect what matters, your life fills up with what doesn’t.
Your calendar will always be full.
The only question is: Is it full of your priorities… or everyone else’s?
And that is how you take your time — and your life — back.
If this landed in your chest a little — if you’re realizing your calendar has been running you (instead of the other way around) — I want you to know you don’t have to figure it out alone.
If you’re feeling called to restructure your days, protect what matters, and finally build a life you don’t need a vacation from… I’d love to support you.
I offer a free 30-minute strategy session where we’ll look at what’s draining you, what’s missing, and what your non-negotiables actually need to be — so your week can start holding you again.
No pressure. Just clarity.
Book your free 30-minute call here.
