Most wellness routines look impressive on paper.
Supplements lined up like tiny soldiers.
A 6 a.m. workout.
A smoothie that tastes like lawn clippings, but you drink it anyway because someone on the internet said it “changed their life.”
And yet… people still feel tired.
Still feel wired at night.
Still feel like their body is running on low battery while their calendar is running on high speed.
Here’s what I see over and over as a coach who works with high-performing women:
They’re building a wellness routine that’s optimized for effort, not for recovery.
They’re stacking habits like it’s a competition, but skipping the one ingredient that determines whether any of it actually works…
Your nervous system.
That’s the part everyone’s overlooking.
Let me take you back for a second.
Over twenty years ago, I was doing “all the right things.” On the outside, everything looked strong. Productive. Capable. The kind of life where people say, “Wow, you’re amazing, how do you do it all?”
But privately, I was running on adrenaline.
I wasn’t calm. I was functional.
And there’s a difference.
I remember realizing I could work all day, crash at night, and still wake up feeling like I hadn’t recovered. I was checking boxes, but my body wasn’t receiving the message of safety.
And your body needs that message.
Because without it, wellness becomes another performance.
When your nervous system is stuck in “go” mode, your body prioritizes survival over repair.
That means it gets harder to sleep deeply.
Harder to digest well.
Harder to recover from workouts.
Harder to think clearly.
Harder to regulate cravings and mood.
This isn’t weakness. This is your body talking to you.
Stress is not just a feeling. It’s a full-body signal that shifts hormones, changes how your brain filters information, and influences inflammation and immunity.
Stress is serious.
In simple terms: if your system is constantly bracing itself, your “healthy habits” don’t land the way you want them to.
So yes, drink the water. Eat the protein. Go for the walk. Sleep enough.
But if you’re doing all of it while internally sprinting, you’re missing the foundation.
What To Focus on Instead
Here are three overlooked upgrades that make everything else in your routine more effective.
1. Recovery is not a reward. It’s part of the plan.
Most women treat recovery like dessert.
“If I finish everything, then I can rest.”
So true!
But recovery is not the prize at the end of your day.
It’s the thing that makes your day sustainable.
Sleep is the most obvious example, but I’m also talking about recovery moments during the day. Tiny pauses that tell your body, “You’re safe. You’re not being chased by a bear. You can unclench now.”
If you want one simple practice: take a 90-second reset twice a day.
Set a timer.
Drop your shoulders.
Exhale longer than you inhale.
Longer exhales help cue the calming branch of your nervous system. It’s one of the fastest ways to change your internal state without needing an hour-long meditation.
2. You don’t need more discipline. You need more regulation.
If your wellness routine relies on you pushing harder, it will eventually break.
Because your body is not a machine. It’s a relationship.
Think of regulation as your ability to return to baseline after stress. Not avoiding stress. Not living on a beach. Returning to steadiness.
This is why breathwork, gentle movement, time in nature, music, laughter, and social connection are not “nice extras.” They are direct repairs to your nervous system.
Also, can we also talk about how laughter is wildly underrated?
Sometimes the most healing thing you can do is watch something stupid and laugh until you snort. That is not unproductive. That is your body releasing tension. I have watched The Money Pit maybe 12 times. I don’t know what it is… it cracks me up, I love it.
Wellness is not always a green juice, my friend!
3. The most powerful wellness habit is a boundary.
I said what I said.
Because nothing burns out your nervous system faster than feeling like you have no control over your time.
You can have the perfect morning routine, but if your day is built on constant urgency, your body never settles.
Start small.
Pick one boundary that protects your energy this week:
- No phone for the first 10 minutes of the day
- A “meeting buffer” or “white space” so you are not sprinting from call to call
- A hard stop time three days this week
- A “no” that you do not over-explain
Boundaries are not rigid. They are stabilizing.
They’re how you teach your system: “I’m in charge here.”
The Real Goal of Wellness
The goal is not to become someone who does more wellness things.
The goal is to become someone who feels safer in her body and in turn… her life.
Calmer. Clearer. More grounded.
Because when your nervous system is supported, your habits start working with you instead of feeling like another job.
So if your routine has been feeling like effort on top of effort, try this reframe:
Stop asking, “What should I add?”
Start asking, “What would help my body soften?”
That question changes everything.
And if you want a gentle place to start, choose one tiny reset today. One boundary. One exhale.
Not to be perfect.
To be well.
To be steady.
To come home to yourself again.
Let me know in the comments if this spoke to you today.
