Boosting Your Children’s Self-Esteem and Body Image

Whether you thought Jlo and Shakira‘s halftime Super Bowl performance was empowering or inappropriate, we can all agree we want to raise daughters (and sons) with healthy self-esteem and a positive body image.

Photo credit: Pinterest

This morning on Global TV, I shared just how we can do that.

And as for the halftime performance, I am leaving it up to a few smart ones to express how I felt. Personally, I was mesmerized.

Here are the words of wisdom, in my humble opinion…

“So many of you (who I adore) are pearl-clutching about the JLo/Shakira halftime show today.

Maybe instead of turning the TV off when women are displaying their incredible physicality and sensuality, you could instead talk to your kids about the incredible discipline and hard work it takes to put on a performance like that. You could talk about how the patriarchy means that Michael Jackson can grab his crotch throughout a performance, and other male performers can be out there topless, but if women dare to appear sexual they are inappropriate. You could remind them that it was Justin Timberlake who exposed Janet Jackson, but it was Ms. Jackson (if you’re nasty) who was punished. You could talk about WHY women believe they need to always be sexy, because that’s the often only way women have value. You could turn this into an amazing learning opportunity.

And you can celebrate the fact that, for the first time I can remember EVER, people are talking about two middle-aged women who are too sexy for kids to see, and how that’s shaking up the idea of aging women and proving that women can still exist as fully alive humans after age 40.

Chances are your kids viewed that performance as just what it was — dancing. Until you told them it wasn’t.

Lastly, it’s time to accept reality. I don’t know how to break this to you, but: your kids have seen porn. I don’t care how good your parental controls are. Somehow, somewhere, they have seen it. Regardless of your kid’s gender. Have you talked to your kids about THAT? Because that’s probably a far more important convo to have with your kids than that half time show.

ETA: Not to mention, you’re basically telling your sons (because everyone is only talking about how their sons would view this, naturally) that you believe they have no capacity to control their impulses and MUST BE PROTECTED FROM SEXY WOMEN. How is that healthy???” – Cecily Kellogg

“I could easily join the public collective and talk about what I think about Shakira and J Lo’s halftime show but I choose not to because I’m sure that my opinion doesn’t contribute anything constructive to the conversation.

Opinions are nothing more than a reflection of ourselves.
Using the half time show as an example, the thoughts that went through my mind watching J Lo is a direct reflection of the stories in my own head.

What I was thinking:
“Look at herrrr! With children watching and men salivating, grabbing her crotch and hanging by a thread on a pole? It’s wrong.”
Rational mind: Judgmental.

What I was feeling:
“50 years old with that strength, that beauty, that coordination and stamina and all in heels… wow! So confident and courageous to do this before 10s of millions.”
Emotional reaction: Jealousy.

What I wanted to feel:
Motivated. Inspired. I wanted to cheer her on and form a sisterhood that supports and encourages more women to fully express themselves.
Conscious mind: loving acceptance.

Our opinions have no value in public outcry. They are our personal bias and their value is exposed when we are willing to examine ourselves; to go deeper, beyond the thought and into the heart of what we really mean by what we say.” – Shari Reinhart

Oh ya, and this.

But, I would LOVE to hear your thoughts. Was it empowering or inappropriate for you? Are you on the fence?

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