I have wrestled with the idea of shaving the bump on my nose since my early twenties. After nasal trauma 3 years ago, I went to a plastic surgeon and asked what could be done for my gonzo honker.
When I saw the after, I couldn’t believe it! I’ve been insecure my whole life about my nose!
And then I sent it to my friend/doctor, and he said, “Why would you want a perfect nose? I like your nose now- it’s you and it’s your character.”
And I decided: I’m not changing my face.
My goal of today’s post, is I want to normalize what imperfection is and normalize loving ourselves as we are.
The journey to self-love is long and complex.
8 tips how to how to love on yourself:
- Don’t compare yourself to others. You do you, boo. Focus on your strengths and PLAY. TO. THEM.
- Honor your boundaries. When you say yes to things that you want to say no to, therein begins the opposite of self-love. Work on the strength to stand up for yourself and say “That doesn’t work for me at the moment, I’m so sorry.”
- Give yourself permission to fuck up and forgive. When we know better, we do better. There’s no failure – there’s only learning lessons.
- Accept that not everyone’s for you, and you’re not for everyone. Find your tribe and love them hard. Let them love you hard. Let go of the desperate need for approval (especially from people that don’t matter, or are not in the ring getting dirty themselves).
- For every recurring unkind thing you say to yourself, have a rebuttal sentence BASED ON PROOF, ready and handy in a journal or in your notes on your phone. (Example: I only have this job because I lucked out. I will be fired at any moment. Rebuttal: I worked my ass off and I deserve to be here. If they wanted to fire me, I’d already be fired. I’m worthy of being here.)
- Don’t numb out. Feel your feelings. Sit with them. Unpack them. Write them down. Problem solve through. There’s only one way- and it’s not around, it’s through.
- Speak to yourself as you would a friend in need. Watch your self-talk everyday. If you catch yourself being critical, see #5 again.
- Take care of your body– move it, breathe deeply with it, eat nutrient-rich foods, sleep enough.
Self-love is an essential practice that will greatly impact your overall well-being and quality of life. It involves accepting yourself for who you are, embracing all your strengths and weaknesses, and treating yourself with kindness and compassion.
Cultivating self-love isn’t easy, and it often requires a conscious effort to shift our mindset and behaviors away from being our harshest critic, into our own best friend. But the benefits and journey towards self-love is well worth the effort.
Loving yourself, forgiving yourself is the root to a more magnificent life.