“The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens… you will ALWAYS be with yourself.” – Diane Von Furstenberg
For today’s V Day blog post, I am not taking about love of your spouse, or partner, or kids. I am talking about love and acceptance of… yourself.
I see it a lot in my coaching practice and in women around me. Women who occupy their time frenetically cooking for their kids, runnings for their partners, accomplishing in their jobs, doing, going, organizing chaos, loving and nurturing everyone around them. But at the core, I can see there is something missing. Something they are TRULY neglecting – themselves. And no amount of roses or surprise gifts from your partner on Valentine’s Day are going to rectify the issue.
You see, our relationship with ourselves determines our relationships with everything and everyone around us.
Every time you work to try and impress the world, you move further and further away from your inner self-worth and satisfaction. But notice as soon as you start treating yourself with compassion, kindness, care, respecting your boundaries, all your relationships start to flourish.
Because when we don’t love ourselves, we go looking for love and happiness in all the wrong places. And again, I know this by the women who enter my life coaching practice and wonder why the world thinks they’re great, but yet they hate themselves. When we can self-soothe and comfort ourselves, we no longer need alcohol, or food, or chaos, or work, or a man to make us happy and put us in a playful mood. It’s us who can do it for ourselves.
And that’s powerful.
You really do hold the key to your happiness – and not your Valentine that you may be celebrating with tonight.
I heard Gabby Bernstein speak a few years ago at an event called Hustle and Heart put on by my friends Maddy K and Natasha Gargiulo, and once we’re on this relevant topic, she said something that was pretty profound.
Gabby’s 6th step for judgement detox is to Bring Your Shadows to the Light for Forgiveness. She said the only way to heal ourselves and love others is through self-forgiveness. What will forgiveness offer me? Well, she says, do nothing and let forgiveness show you what to do. You just need to listen.
So, start by forgiving yourself. Start with total self-acceptance. With small acts of self-love each day, you will begin to get unstuck and start to truly love the woman staring back at you.
So, back to Valentine’s Day… where we started. I wish you a beautiful day with your lover, but I wish you an even better day with yourself. Get to knowself. Love yourself fully.
You don’t have to have a partner today to do that.
And just like that…
Happy Love Day,
Love this post and it’s so true.
I so agree with you! With every word! When I realized that I didn’t love myself just for who I am, I started working to change that in my mind. It has influenced many aspects of my life, especially in relationships. When I began to love and respect myself, some people left my life, and I was afraid that I was doing something wrong, but over time, new, wonderful people came and I am so happy about it.