Back to School is indeed a thing, and it’s almost upon us! In fact, for many of my American friends, you guys are already there.
I love a new school year. I really do. Fresh binders, crisp loose leaf paper, unmarked notepads, clean pens, unchewed erasers. The organized life! I dig it, ladies.
On Global News this morning, I shared my tips on taking on and tackling the year. Hint: it starts now.
I’ve had requests to bring back my article on why sleepaway camp is good for all parties, so by popular demand, no need to sift through. Here is the rerun from three years ago.
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It’s 9:15am Monday morning. I just finished a great ‘Beat Spin and Abs’ class, and I’m feeling good. A bit lonely, but gooooood.
Last week, I sent my boys off to sleepaway camp, together, for the first time. The people I have bumped into have asked me, “So? How does it feel to have both your kids gone for the first time?”
My answer? “On a scale of 1-10… 1,000,000!”
And they just look at me.
I am coming off a pretty busy few weeks. I spoke a couple of weeks ago at the I Am Her Conference, last week as the keynote speaker here in Montreal for WXN (Women’s Executive Network), and in Toronto yesterday at a health and wellness retreat for women. When I work, and especially when I am speaking to women, I forget the every day chaos that can sometimes keeps me stuck, and I stop dwelling on nonsense and bullshit. In fact, I kind of feel like Sasha Fierce… you know Beyonce’s alter ego when she takes the stage and transforms into something non-questioning, something confident, something fierce and in her own power?
Yah, that’s kind of how I feel when I work. Working keeps me out of trouble.
It is called “redshirting.” Perhaps you have heard of it.
“Redshirting for young children refers to the practice of postponing entrance into kindergarten of age-eligible children in order to allow extra time for socioemotional, intellectual, or physical growth. This occurs most frequently where children’s birthdays are so close to the cut-off dates that they are very likely to be among the youngest in their kindergarten class.” (Wikipedia)
In simpler terms, ‘redshirting kindergarten’ is holding you child back one extra year before sending them to kindergarten. Instead of entering kindergarten as a 5 year old, if your child is on the cusp of the grade cutoff, that is, one of the youngest children in the grade, you would hold him or her back one year, and he or she would enter kindergarten as a larger, more developed, 6 year old.
This is our 9th Mother’s Day together on WomenOnTheFence.com. I have paid tribute to my incredible mother and mother-in law and to my two beautiful sons (that I owe my mother title to). I have also paid tribute to the many stories of mothers who have endured and overcome, who have experienced tragedy and triumph, and who have come out on the other side with grace and resilience.
For this year’s post, I have decided to pay tribute to women everywhere, and merge Mental Health Awareness Week with Mother’s Day.
So, let’s start with mental health awareness, shall we?
Here is a photo of my health and wellness panel from last weekend’s I Am: A Conference For Her.
This week especially, during #MentalHealthAwareness week, it felt relevant to stop and pause and do a few things:
When I started teaching yoga last fall, I committed to two classes a week (knowing two classes per week was what my schedule would comfortably allow). Two day classes, that is, as I have always reserved my nights for my kids and husband exclusively. I try and book very few things during the week (the odd girls night out, absolutely). I want to be there every night for dinner, homework, showers, and snuggles.
But when a few of my yogis recently requested I teach a night class as they work during the day, I was really hesitant to say yes. I made a vow to myself and my family 10 years ago not to work nights unless I was called away to speak. I started to talk to myself. Yes, I do that… a lot. I said to myself, “It’s springtime, Erica. The days are long, and I think I’ll go out of my comfort zone and maybe say yes.” I did, after all, watch Shonda Rhimes’ TED Talk on the Year of Yes. You know, the year when she said YES to everything to welcome more happiness? 😉
It’s spring! Spring is about spring cleaning, renewal, regeneration, reorganizing.
What if I said, spring is the perfect time to create your own Mom Cave? A MOM cave you say? We’ve all heard of THE MAN CAVE, where men go to decompress, have a beer, watch the game, or porn, whatever. But a mom cave? And I’m here to tell you– yes, yes, yes!
Now, the concept behind the man cave goes back many years, and stemmed from the idea that when a man came home to his wife and children, he first needed to go to his “cave” to decompress after a long day. But with more and more women in the workforce, contributing financially, and frankly, just downright exhausted and needing more “me-time”, more women are craving the same decompression time and cave time that men crave.
I never set out to be a single mom. I’m not sure that many women do to be honest (despite what the media might like us to believe).
I always wanted to be part of a family, part of a close-knit group of people who looked out for and loved each other. I didn’t experience that growing up; I was abused by my grandfather at the age of 5, my grandmother told me not to tell anyone as I’d be taken away and, when she thought I had told (although I was too frightened to tell a soul), she tried to drown me in the garden pond. That was the start of the sexual harassment and abuse I encountered both inside and outside of my family, over many years.
I grew up being told that no one liked me, loved me, or wanted me. That no one thought I’d achieve anything and that I was stupid and hopeless. Although school was my sanctuary, and I loved it, I didn’t do very well academically due to a series of undiagnosed learning difficulties. I left home the day after I turned 18, got married at 19, had my daughter at 20, my son at 22, and was divorced by 25.
“This will hurt me more than it will hurt you!”
No kid ever believed this when they heard it come from the lips of their parent, usually just before they were going to be spanked or punished. And those of us who did hear it, swore that we would never say it, and many of us also decided then and there that we were never going to spank our kids.
Other expressions like “My way or the highway” and, of course, “As long as you’re living under my roof, you’ll…” -fill in the blank. The message was clear… you were living in your parent’s house, there were rules and consequences for breaking those rules, and there were clear expectations about the responsibilities you had as a result of being part of the family unit and a child – making your bed, taking care of your younger siblings, setting the table, etc. – whatever the requirements were for your family.
It was five years ago, that I sat nervously in the green room of Global Television. I was starting my new weekly job as the Parenting and Lifestyle Correspondent on The Morning News.
The new show kicked off, and my first segment aired live January 29th, 2013, at 8:45am. I was nervous, somewhat green, and didn’t know how my chemistry with host Camille Ross would actually carry over beyond my screen test.
Five years later, I cannot believe how quickly the time has flown by. What started as a weekly job has grown into a friendship with everyone there, and I am grateful for the entire Global Morning News team.
I help busy women (like you!) prioritize self-care so you can experience less stress, more calm and greater joy every day!
