Are you ready to FINALLY prioritize your self-care, avoid burnout, and reclaim your time, energy & balance?

The FREE Self-Care Masterclass: Your Personalized 4-Step Well-Being Roadmap for Busy Women With Real Life Schedules

Are you ready to FINALLY prioritize your self-care, avoid burnout, and reclaim your time, energy & joy in 2024?

The FREE Self-Care Masterclass: Your Personalized 4-Step Well-Being Roadmap for Busy Women With Real Life Schedules

PARENTING

Are Post-Millennials The Loneliest Generation?

I am coming off a pretty busy few weeks. I spoke a couple of weeks ago at the I Am Her Conference, last week as the keynote speaker here in Montreal for WXN (Women’s Executive Network), and in Toronto yesterday at a health and wellness retreat for women. When I work, and especially when I am speaking to women, I forget the every day chaos that can sometimes keeps me stuck, and I stop dwelling on nonsense and bullshit. In fact, I kind of feel like Sasha Fierce… you know Beyonce’s alter ego when she takes the stage and transforms into something non-questioning, something confident, something fierce and in her own power?

Yah, that’s kind of how I feel when I work. Working keeps me out of trouble.

Redshirting: Holding Them Back To Get Them Ahead

It is called “redshirting.” Perhaps you have heard of it.

“Redshirting for young children refers to the practice of postponing entrance into kindergarten of age-eligible children in order to allow extra time for socioemotional, intellectual, or physical growth. This occurs most frequently where children’s birthdays are so close to the cut-off dates that they are very likely to be among the youngest in their kindergarten class.”  (Wikipedia)

In simpler terms, ‘redshirting kindergarten’ is holding you child back one extra year before sending them to kindergarten. Instead of entering kindergarten as a 5 year old, if your child is on the cusp of the grade cutoff, that is, one of the youngest children in the grade, you would hold him or her back one year, and he or she would enter kindergarten as a larger, more developed, 6 year old.

Celebrating Motherhood

This is our 9th Mother’s Day together on WomenOnTheFence.com. I have paid tribute to my incredible mother and mother-in law and to my two beautiful sons (that I owe my mother title to). I have also paid tribute to the many stories of mothers who have endured and overcome, who have experienced tragedy and triumph, and who have come out on the other side with grace and resilience.

For this year’s post, I have decided to pay tribute to women everywhere, and merge Mental Health Awareness Week with Mother’s Day.

So, let’s start with mental health awareness, shall we?

Here is a photo of my health and wellness panel from last weekend’s I Am: A Conference For Her.

This week especially, during #MentalHealthAwareness week, it felt relevant to stop and pause and do a few things:

Stayin’ Up Late

When I started teaching yoga last fall, I committed to two classes a week (knowing two classes per week was what my schedule would comfortably allow). Two day classes, that is, as I have always reserved my nights for my kids and husband exclusively. I try and book very few things during the week (the odd girls night out, absolutely). I want to be there every night for dinner, homework, showers, and snuggles.

But when a few of my yogis recently requested I teach a night class as they work during the day, I was really hesitant to say yes. I made a vow to myself and my family 10 years ago not to work nights unless I was called away to speak. I started to talk to myself. Yes, I do that… a lot. I said to myself, “It’s springtime, Erica. The days are long, and I think I’ll go out of my comfort zone and maybe say yes.” I did, after all, watch Shonda Rhimes’ TED Talk on the Year of Yes. You know, the year when she said YES to everything to welcome more happiness? 😉

Springtime Is The Perfect Time To Create Your “Mom Cave”

It’s spring! Spring is about spring cleaning, renewal, regeneration, reorganizing.

What if I said, spring is the perfect time to create your own Mom Cave? A MOM cave you say? We’ve all heard of THE MAN CAVE, where men go to decompress, have a beer, watch the game, or porn, whatever. But a mom cave? And I’m here to tell you– yes, yes, yes!

Now, the concept behind the man cave goes back many years, and stemmed from the idea that when a man came home to his wife and children, he first needed to go to his “cave” to decompress after a long day. But with more and more women in the workforce, contributing financially, and frankly, just downright exhausted and needing more “me-time”, more women are craving the same decompression time and cave time that men crave.

Resilience

I never set out to be a single mom. I’m not sure that many women do to be honest (despite what the media might like us to believe).

I always wanted to be part of a family, part of a close-knit group of people who looked out for and loved each other. I didn’t experience that growing up; I was abused by my grandfather at the age of 5, my grandmother told me not to tell anyone as I’d be taken away and, when she thought I had told (although I was too frightened to tell a soul), she tried to drown me in the garden pond. That was the start of the sexual harassment and abuse I encountered both inside and outside of my family, over many years.

I grew up being told that no one liked me, loved me, or wanted me. That no one thought I’d achieve anything and that I was stupid and hopeless. Although school was my sanctuary, and I loved it, I didn’t do very well academically due to a series of undiagnosed learning difficulties. I left home the day after I turned 18, got married at 19, had my daughter at 20, my son at 22, and was divorced by 25.

Why Does Doing the Right Thing Sometimes Feel So Wrong?

“This will hurt me more than it will hurt you!” 

No kid ever believed this when they heard it come from the lips of their parent, usually just before they were going to be spanked or punished. And those of us who did hear it, swore that we would never say it, and many of us also decided then and there that we were never going to spank our kids.

Other expressions like “My way or the highway” and, of course, “As long as you’re living under my roof, you’ll…” -fill in the blank.  The message was clear… you were living in your parent’s house, there were rules and consequences for breaking those rules, and there were clear expectations about the responsibilities you had as a result of being part of the family unit and a child – making your bed, taking care of your younger siblings, setting the table, etc. – whatever the requirements were for your family.

Celebrating 5 Years With Global TV’s Morning News

It was five years ago, that I sat nervously in the green room of Global Television. I was starting my new weekly job as the Parenting and Lifestyle Correspondent on The Morning News.

The new show kicked off, and my first segment aired live January 29th, 2013, at 8:45am. I was nervous, somewhat green, and didn’t know how my chemistry with host Camille Ross would actually carry over beyond my screen test.

Five years later, I cannot believe how quickly the time has flown by. What started as a weekly job has grown into a friendship with everyone there, and I am grateful for the entire Global Morning News team.

Growth Vs. Fixed Mindset

Mindset is a simple idea discovered by world-renowned Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck in decades of research on achievement and success—a simple idea that makes all the difference.

In a FIXED MINDSET, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success—without effort. They’re wrong.

In a GROWTH MINDSET, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment. Virtually all great people have had these qualities.

When The Dress Doesn’t Fit

It would not zip up.

It had, not two weeks ago, zipped just fine—with extra room, in fact. But now, forty-five minutes before we were supposed to be sitting in the wedding chapel pew, the beautiful silk cocktail dress would not zip. The wedding was at 5:30 on Saturday evening. It was black-tie (technically “optional,” but not practically so). The bride’s family was from New York City, and the wedding was in an upscale part of Connecticut. I had packed only one formal dress to wear. This dress. This dress that was supposed to fit, but didn’t.

“Let me see,” my husband said as I started pacing in the tiny Air B&B Bedroom that looked like an explosion of somebody’s great aunt’s entire nick-knack collection. We’re talking cat figurines, cat clocks, a cat doorstop, and some angels (of course there were angels—with older women of the great-aunt variety, where there are always cats and angels). There were also weird glass bowls, and teacups, and not enough room on either side of the bed to fit both suitcases. There were proper inns, of course, but those cost three times as much, and we have other things to pay for, like diapers.

It’s time to spring clean your time, energy & mindset!

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