Loving husband and father, 40 years old, with so much more living to do— so one can only imagine the deep-rooted pain he was in to make the active choice to leave this world.
DJ tWitch, Robin Williams – the image of being ALIVE. They both brought so much immense JOY to this world. The tragedy is that with all that abundance of joy, was so much pain. We must acknowledge that mental illness is no different than physical illness.
And because I am a mother of two teen BOYS, I feel compelled to share an important message that I don’t want to be lost.
The message is: we need to do better.
We need to REALLY start raising our boys with some clear messaging here. Their emotions need to feel supported in their environment. Our kids, but specifically our LITLE BOYS need to feel safe to cry, safe to express their feelings, and be encouraged to speak up and ask for help if they’re in pain. They need to know that it’s a trait of strength to ask for help, not weakness. That they should never bottle up their emotions. This old adage that boys are sissies if they cry, or losers if they’re soft, is FUCKING DANGEROUS.
It has to end.
I told both my boys today that their father and I are ALWAYS there to listen without judgement. I want to hear about their joy, and I want to hear about their pain, their frustrations and disappointments. No matter how dark or scary it is. I want them to know that they are never alone in that pain – even if they don’t want to share that pain with me. That help is ALWAYS out there. From a friend, an aunt, a teacher, a therapist. If they are hurting and they can’t come to me, someone will get them the help they need if their thoughts are so dark.
We must all go home tonight and remind our kids not to wait until it gets scary in their heads. That if something feels off, that they are safe to unpack it with us. Sometimes that means just sitting next to them quietly and not saying a word, and allowing them to share what’s weighing heavy on their hearts.
We can’t assume anything.
We must tune into those we know and love when they appear more withdrawn or silent.
And we certainly can’t assume that just because someone we love “seems” or “looks” happy, that they aren’t still suffering in silence.
If you follow me, you know my biggest love and passion in this entire world is music (my bio after all does say Musicaholic). But DJ tWitch literally got me and countless others through COVID with his dancing. He made me smile and move every day.
May he experience the peace he wasn’t able to find on earth. And may his wife and three children be spared any further sorrow.
This one hit differently. I am sending you all so much love if you’re hurting too.
With respect,
Erica
