Our married life was great for some time. But then it began to unravel. At first, I ignored all the signs. The dissolution of my marriage began with my inner demons. The rapid decline of my mental health became a reality we could no longer ignore. There we were, two isolated people. Me in my world, and my husband in his. My husband took a bottle of booze with him for some extra comfort.
Last month, I celebrated my daughter’s birthday. For the years that I have been divorced, it has been understood that this special day with our eldest child is to be shared…..as it’s always been. From our birthday lunch, to special moments shared together, this day is placed on a pedestal to recognize its importance. On this day, I had been eagerly anticipating her arrival as it had been a week since I had had my children. In fact, I stayed up till exactly midnight to ensure her e-mail birthday wishes would arrive exactly on time, in spirit and style, despite us not being physically together. When I didn’t hear back from her the next morning, I had that feeling, which brought a great deal of sadness in my heart. What had I done in my life and marriage that things had spiraled down to this– that I hadn’t even heard from daughter on her birthday? I thought of the injustice of the whole thing and simply shook my head in amazement at how empty it feels to live a divorced life, missing these once in a lifetime moments. It was a profound moment for me.
So we’ve all heard of Sandra Bullock’s motor-head husband Jesse James having some sexy times with a girl nicknamed “Bombshell,” while Ms. Bullock was off filming The Blind Side. I guess with this guy, “when the cat’s away, the mouse will play.” And what about Sam Mendez, husband to the beautiful Kate Winslet? He’s rumored to have also cheated. And we all know about the famous, Mr. Tiger Woods. I’m glad to see you’ve put your Buddhist bracelet back on… maybe it will remind you to keep your pecker in your pants!
I learned early on in life what survival meant, and have been doing just that since the tender age of 5. It’s from that point that I remember the very first beating I had from my father. I was physically abused as a child, to the age of 22, and had spent my adolescent life lying about the welts and bruises I had on a weekly basis right up until I got engaged to be married, but still living at home.
So, what is the real definition of a work spouse? And do you have one? Does your boyfriend have one? Does your husband have one? And most importantly, has it progressed beyond just a work spouse?
Perhaps you are on the fence about what to do with that toxic friend. Whether you’ve been friends for many years and you’re done taking their crap, or they are a new friend that just sucks you dry, here are the six types of toxic friends that exist according to author Dr. Jan Yager, author of When Friendship Hurts, and what you can do about them.
For many women throughout their lives, their male influences rarely present them an opportunity to understand the depth and complexity of male issues. I think there is a falsely pre-determined notion in society that leads women to believe certain myths; that men are the providers, that men are less involved in family life, men do the cheating, men are strong and insensitive, and men do not truly connect with their spouses. I am living proof that there is a side to men that most women have chosen to ignore or simply do not make the effort to understand. We connect, you just have to know how.
In case you haven’t yet heard the expression, a ‘Cougar’ is a term for an older woman who seeks out and enjoys the company of a younger man, while still enjoying her independence. Think Demi Moore, Madonna, Mariah Carey. The intentions of a “cougar” can range anywhere from chasing after a young boy-toy for fun outings and sexcapades, to someone looking for a loving and committed relationship.
Each year, the stories get better and better, and are exceptionally moving. This year was no different. I knew we were going to be hearing speaker Leslie Morgan Steiner, author of Mommy Wars and Crazy Love. I had not read her books, and only briefly read her story. I knew that she had graduated from two ivy league schools (Harvard and Wharton). A smart, beautiful woman with a career on the rise. Brought up in a financially comfortable and loving family. She had the world by the tail… that is, until she married a violently abusive man and entered into a life of hell for four years .
Which leads us to the topic of communication. We all know good communication is key to a great relationship. But while women in general tend to be good communicators, this is not always the case. Often women haven’t found their voice and they suppress their true feelings in a relationship, which leads to resentment, and then a whole downward domino effect.
I help busy women (like you!) prioritize self-care so you can experience less stress, more calm and greater joy every day!
