The subject of friends and friendship has been omnipresent in my mind lately. I have given a lot of thought as to what constitutes a “great friend.” We all have friends that we have accumulated over the years, some better than others, but still consider friends nonetheless. Over the last little while, I made the conscientious decision, that since I considered myself such a good friend, I would no longer accept having simple friendships that were devoid of moral depth and values…
The fall of 2006 should have been one of the happiest times of my life. My first book, My Sister, My Self, had just been published and I’d just completed a book tour speaking at bookstores and community centers across the United States about sister relationships, the subject of my book. Planning the trip, I’d envisioned how great it would be out there driving the open road alone, listening to local radio stations and getting the chance to talk with dozens of women about a topic dear to their hearts. Although the reality of driving three thousand miles across America proved to be much more challenging than I’d expected, at least I had backup. During our nightly phone calls, my husband of twenty-one years was cheering me on, telling me how proud he was, always encouraging me.
I blog about all women, for women. I talk about all the issues we as women face today. All the struggles, and all the things we sit on the fence about in life, marriage, career, kids, friends, health, and more. And I love it. I don’t have to tell you, I say it all the time… I’m living my dream. But I’m only living my dream for one reason… because my husband let’s me do so. So today, on our 10 year anniversary, I want to pay tribute to him.
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person…
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
I LOVE YOU. Three simple words. Easy to say. Not often said. I’ll never forget…
Picture this..
You’re driving along a seemingly smooth road, no unexpected turns or bumps. All of the sudden, you hit a pothole in the road. Didn’t see that coming…
No matter how hard you rev the engine, you just can’t get out of it. The wheels keep spinning but you’re going nowhere. You’re stuck in a rut!
Are you the breadwinner in your relationship? Are you making more money than your husband? Are you frustrated and resentful or are you proud and grateful? Could you be with a man if you were the one working and bringing home the bacon, and he was the one organizing playdates and park excursions? I’ve wanted to do a Blog post on this topic for some time… we call these women Alpha Wives, or Breadwinning Wives. And they exist by the numbers today.
Our married life was great for some time. But then it began to unravel. At first, I ignored all the signs. The dissolution of my marriage began with my inner demons. The rapid decline of my mental health became a reality we could no longer ignore. There we were, two isolated people. Me in my world, and my husband in his. My husband took a bottle of booze with him for some extra comfort.
Last month, I celebrated my daughter’s birthday. For the years that I have been divorced, it has been understood that this special day with our eldest child is to be shared…..as it’s always been. From our birthday lunch, to special moments shared together, this day is placed on a pedestal to recognize its importance. On this day, I had been eagerly anticipating her arrival as it had been a week since I had had my children. In fact, I stayed up till exactly midnight to ensure her e-mail birthday wishes would arrive exactly on time, in spirit and style, despite us not being physically together. When I didn’t hear back from her the next morning, I had that feeling, which brought a great deal of sadness in my heart. What had I done in my life and marriage that things had spiraled down to this– that I hadn’t even heard from daughter on her birthday? I thought of the injustice of the whole thing and simply shook my head in amazement at how empty it feels to live a divorced life, missing these once in a lifetime moments. It was a profound moment for me.
So we’ve all heard of Sandra Bullock’s motor-head husband Jesse James having some sexy times with a girl nicknamed “Bombshell,” while Ms. Bullock was off filming The Blind Side. I guess with this guy, “when the cat’s away, the mouse will play.” And what about Sam Mendez, husband to the beautiful Kate Winslet? He’s rumored to have also cheated. And we all know about the famous, Mr. Tiger Woods. I’m glad to see you’ve put your Buddhist bracelet back on… maybe it will remind you to keep your pecker in your pants!
I help busy women (like you!) prioritize self-care so you can experience less stress, more calm and greater joy every day!
