I was brought up to believe you never spend more than you have (ok dipping into my dad’s wallet sometimes helped!) I learned to save and make pretty good choices all things considered. Then I met my husband and from the time we started dating until the time we divorced, I allowed myself to make decisions that were NOT in the best interest of myself, nor my family.
Spring is almost in the air! Springtime is about renewal and rebirth, and therefore a perfect to take stock of your life, and take charge of your finances. It’s time to get off the fence and spring clean your finances, ladies! It’s also #FinancialFriday!
1. No Blame, No Shame
The foundation of a financial fresh start actually has nothing to do with money or specific financial dos and don’ts. The first, and most difficult, step is to absolve yourself and your spouse or partner of any guilt. So you need to make a promise to me. I need you to agree that the past is past, and we are going to focus on the future. Whatever mistakes you feel you have made with money, whatever moves you wish you had or hadn’t made, are irrelevant. We are free to move forward only when we remove the emotional shackles of regret. This cleansing step is especially important for couples. You are in this together, so no finger-pointing or arguing about any past decisions. Do we have a deal? Deep breath, everyone. Exhale. Now you are ready to put your financial house in order.
We talk a lot about self-care– it’s a very 2019 word. I talk a lot about self-care as a Certified Life Coach, Certified Yoga Instructor, and Parenting/Lifestyle Correspondent on TV. When we think of self-care, we often think of hot baths, or massages, or this picture I posted yesterday on social media – I shared it in my instagram story.
Self-care for me two days ago was the gift to myself of $8.00 tulips I put in my kitchen window sill to look at while I’m doing the dishes or sipping my coffee, to help me channel spring and radiate sunshine.
Our Montreal winters are rough, I tell ya, people.
And I realized that even in my yoga class, when I have my yogis on the mat, I often say to them as they are lying calmly on their backs in sivasana at the end of class, I invite them to channel the good vibes and keep them going after class— a nice hot bath, a warm cup of tea, a nice book, a show on tv that makes them laugh. Something just for them that is pleasurable to end off their evening. That they cannot give form an empty cup.
But here’s the thing: self-care isn’t limited or limiting.
My boys have all left for golf. I just finished making the beds. I’m sipping coffee, and instead of going to the gym, or for a walk, I really feel like I have something to say today.
So, sitting surrounded by inspirational sayings in my sweet new office and calm space, here goes.
You may or many not know that today is Womens’ Equality Day. To give you a point of reference, this is it:
I understand wanting to stay at home with your children when they’re young, having wished for it myself. Like most new moms, when my three months of maternity leave was over (all of it unpaid by the way!) and I had to go back to the office, I was devastated. I couldn’t fathom the thought of leaving my son for an hour, let alone a day. I wanted more than anything to stay home and be with my baby. I would have done nearly anything to be a stay-at-home mom. Financially, however, it was impossible for my family. Trust me, I did the math countless times, and being a banker, I was good at math!
So it’s 2017. Maybe your kids are all in school now, and maybe you’ve decided that this is the year you’re going to get creative – in every sense of the word. Maybe you’ve decided that you’re going to get off the fence and contribute to society and your household income. Maybe you need to work for financial reasons, maybe you don’t. But one thing is for certain… Mompreneurship can be big business.
Talking to our kids about money can be daunting. Where do you start? How do you start? When do you start?
As a Certified Life Coach, and Weekly Parenting Correspondent on Global News, I care very deeply about parents, kids and the wellbeing of the family unit. I often speak about the importance of financial freedom for women, and the messaging that it is never too early (OR TOO LATE) to begin. The more you talk about money now, the more confident you will be in your financial future. And while money doesn’t buy happiness, financial freedom can mean things like an early retirement, a home for your family, and the flexibility to make choices for yourself.
Here are my five tips when it comes to talking to your kids about money:
“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.” – Jim Carey
If you have exactly six minutes and 56 seconds to spare you in your day today, let it be to watch this. A very powerful montage of celebrity sound bites on their rise to the top, and what it actually looks like from up there.
I have only one thing to say: Lady Gaga is just everything in this video. She is.
When their exams are over and the holidays begin, students will have a lot of celebrating to do. There is no question that post-secondary education is an expensive investment. Whether living at home or on their own, students may be surprised by how quickly their expenses can add up, and many may have already blown their budget.
While 90 percent of parents say they know roughly how much debt their child has, only 78 percent of students agree, according to an RBC Student Banking survey. Some students may not want to tell their parents their bank account is running on empty, which can cause financial woes down the road.
If you earn more than your husband, you’re more likely to be the primary decision-maker on money matters and take charge of things like paying bills, budgeting, saving, and planning for retirement. That’s all according to my academic survey of over 1,000 women conducted with Dr. Brad Klontz, a financial psychologist.
While that is something to be proud of, such an arrangement could be asking for trouble. After all, a sense of equity between two committed people is important, even if there’s an income disparity.
I can relate to this in my own relationship. When my husband Tim and I first got engaged and began planning our wedding, I was definitely the one who took the reins. Admittedly, I wasn’t the best at delegating but, at the same time, he felt a tad awkward offering suggestions and providing input.
I help busy women (like you!) prioritize self-care so you can experience less stress, more calm and greater joy every day!
